Not meant to be...

I just got off the phone with my friend (and fellow professional triathlete) Tara Norton. Tara is Canadian and has been racing pro since 2004. She has come a long way in the sport and is one of the toughest, most consistent Ironman athletes that I know. Last year she had a break-through race finishing 12th in Kona. This year she raced Ironman Arizona, placing 6th; Ironman Lanzorote, placing 3rd and Ironman Switzerland, placing 4th. She has also placed in numerous 70.3 races this year. Tara has survived a horrific crash on her bike back in 2005 and has since become a force to be reckoned with on the bike and out on the course in any race she enters. As I spoke to her on the phone tonight she described her race in Hawaii this year. She felt “like everything was coming together for the first time”. She had a feeling that “this was going to be her day”. She felt 100% unwavering confidence the morning of the race. She started the swim and felt great. She exited the water 25th women, left T1 20th Woman. After the turnaround at Hawi Tara found herself in 4th place on the bike!!! Amazing! Tara’s day ended at an aid station out on the course after a volunteer ran out in front of her. At 24 miles per hour Tara had a head on collision with the volunteer. She flew in the air and landed on her back, cracking her helmet, bruising her shoulders, her back, cracking a rib, badly bruising her leg and knee and breaking her arm. She got back on the bike, just for a mile after the medical staff helped to load her into the ambulance and take her back into Kona. My heart goes out to Tara because I know how hard she works, I know how far she has come and I know what she is capable of. She is a mentor to me and someone that I look up to not only for her athletic accomplishments, but because of her outlook on life and her genuine kindness. She will have her day, no doubt.

A few words for myself…I have neglected my blog and do not plan on letting that happen again. After writing about Tara, I hate to say that I had a DNF in Austin, but I did. There have been many concerned friends that have been in touch and curious to know why I did not have the great race that I had hoped for. To be honest, the day was just “not there” for me. I felt “off” the day before after having to stop and walk during a short run due to shortness of breath and I felt fatigued. I knew this was not a good sign. During the race my swim was horrific, placing me almost last out of the water. The bike was done by perceived exertion, not by watts. I felt like I did back in May in Florida 70.3. DEAD LEGS. I tried to push beyond the feeling that I had no power in my legs and no “energy” in my body. When I looked at my powertap at the end of the ride, I was surprised that I clocked my slowest time on the bike with the HIGHEST WATTS I have ever pushed. I was out of the aero position for much of the ride (due to discomfort on my bike) and felt that I was dragging on the rollers. Physically I did not feel right. I tried running anyway and simply did not have it. I called it a day. I did this back in 2004 at Eagleman, but it was different back then. No one seemed to notice, or seem too interested in my DNF back then. Now I find that there are many more people that “notice”. This is a good thing though…tough to face sometimes, but all good that people do care.

Since the race I have been “re-fit” on my bike as I have been changing things on my own throughout the year and have become more and more uncomfortable. I was told that I look like a “granny” on my bike (quite “un-aero”) so this has quickly been remedied. I feel MUCH MORE aero and compact. I feel GOOD pushing watts aero (I don’t have to sit up!). As for the race, I was bummed. ESPECIALLY because I have been running faster than ever, and am feeling strong in the water and on the bike. I am impatient and want to see the results of my training in a race!

After speaking with Tara, she mentioned that “things happen for a reason” and that Hawaii was simply “not to be”. She told me that she has to take something positive from what happened. She also mentioned that it will be that much sweeter when she does fulfill her long time goals. I feel the same way. I have been offered views or reasons as to what happened with my race, why I didn’t perform “up to par”. Some want to know the reasons for the performance (or lack thereof). I say that it just wasn’t meant to be. I didn't have it. Do I still believe in myself? YES. Without a doubt. I see what I have been doing in training and I know I will have that “day of grace” soon enough. Austin was not it. Was my confidence shaken after the race? YES, but logic soon came into play and I quickly let that "lack of confidence" go. Do I still “enjoy” what I am doing? YES. I love it. I have always loved it and I have always put a certain amount of pressure on myself as well. Doesnt any professional athlete? As an amateur athlete, I always wanted to race great. It was disappointing when I didn’t. As a pro that feeling is even greater, so is the disappointment. As an amateur, I wanted to be the first woman, I wanted to win my age group in Kona, I wanted to beat as many pros as I could so that I can justify turning pro myself. As a pro, I wanted to feel I belonged on that start line with the other pros, and I did. Now I want to race the race that I know I am capable of. Arizona is in 5 ½ weeks and I am training hard. As I see with Tara (or with myself in Austin) you never know what the day brings, but I will be sure to continue to be as prepared as I can possibly be.

If you would like to check out Tara’s story (and read more about her) check out: http://www.taranorton.com/.

Here is a picture from Austin with Rebecca, an athlete that I have the pleasure of coaching (I was also fortunate to coach Rebbeca when she swam in College though I have gotten to know her much better now). Rebecca did the race as well! It was great to have her there!